25 week belly shot

First day of "school"

My little guy is at “school” for the first time. It’s a bittersweet moment for me. Mostly happy. I’m happy for him, because I know how excited he is to be there. I’m happy he’s secure and comfortable enough to seek out new environments and experiences. I’m glad that he’ll get to meet other children.

I’m a little worried about him picking up bad behaviors, viruses and/or lice from other kids. And I’m concerned about him turning towards English and rejecting Spanish. But I think starting out with only one morning a week minimizes those risks.

Mark worries the facility is not going to care for him well. I said I’d stop by and check in on him a few weeks from now, when no one is expecting me. But I’m not too worried. At the gym childcare, the staff largely ignore the kids. I watch River on the camera and he’s perfectly content to entertain himself for two hours. So even if they were to completely ignore him, he’d probably be OK, with interesting toys, and interesting kids to watch, for four hours. But hopefully they’ll stick to their schedule of activities, snacktime, outdoor playtime and book time, which will be a lot of fun for him.

We showed up in a stroller with two of the three tires flat. As I pushed the slow-moving contraption toward the building, River immediately recognized it. “’Sito ir a la escuela!” (I need to go to school! Can I go to school now please mama?”

Upon entering the building, he stopped to marvel at the giant red plastic strollers that carry six or eight kids, and the blue naptime cots stacked up in the hallway. Upon entering his classroom, he ran immediately to the train tracks.

“This train is very long!” he said, holding a double engine up. He didn’t seem very interested in introductions to the staff, or to the single other child there. Instead, he pushed a vacuum cleaner across the floor and marveled at a plastic egg. He didn’t pay me the slightest attention.

“Adios mama!” he said twice, before I actually left. No hesitant goodbyes here. He wanted me out of there, ready to take in the new experiences on his own.

I stopped by a coffee shop for a morning tea and croissant, read, caught up on the local newspapers at the library, and got my hair cut. I started to wonder what we are doing bringing a new baby into the mix. Our lives are quite calm and stable. After months of River babbling to himself until 10 p.m. or so at night, he’s now out at 8 p.m., 8:30 at the latest and sleeps through for 12 hours. His naps are successful 95% of the time and they last from 1.5 to 3 hours. He’s happy, can follow instructions, can do many things for himself and can enjoy various outings. I don’t have to carry him anymore, rarely have to clean his butt, and can often combine caring for him with either doing fun things or getting chores done.

It makes me question why we are voluntarily subjecting ourselves to sleepless nights, poop blow-outs, sore boobs and a restricted ability to leave the house. Of course, I’ve learned from River about the joy that comes from these sacrifices. I think a sibling would be a good for River. I want more than one child. I want the experience of parenting a daughter. But still – we will have a tough stretch ahead, which perhaps we are less equipped to handle because things have been calm for a while.

I try to appreciate that it would be much harder to add a baby to the mix if River were more challenging. I’m grateful for the quality of time I can spend with him now. I’m hopeful he’ll be a good big brother. And I hope we can weather the rough months without causing too many difficulties for him.

Feeling faint

Yesterday I took an 18-mile bike ride, probably my last until next spring/summer, and felt great. I smelled the scent of decomposing leaves and cool air, I felt my body move with ease and I was grateful to still have this physical capacity as I near the third trimester. I started to think I could keep riding for a long time more.

I rode to work this morning and while I was pokier than usual, I made it without incident. But shortly after arriving at my desk, I felt faint. I have a history of fainting and I know the signs--the dizziness, the blurred vision and the slow movement towards a loss of consciousness. Usually this happens while standing and the best remedy is to sit down and put my head down. But I was already sitting.

I got up and closed my office door, because I was afraid I was about to faint at my desk. I put my head down for a while. The fainting sensation eventually faded, but I was left with a feeling of nausea. My motivation to be productive was reduced to staring blindly at my screen. A wave of intense fatigue overcame me. I hoped it would pass, but worried how I’d get home if it didn’t. Taking the train would involve a 40 minute walk. Biking would not be easy.

So I decided to catch a ride with Mark while I could and head home right away.

During my last pregnancy I fainted (on the front steps of a Bolivian grocery store), but that was in the first trimester. When I googled fainting and pregnancy, I saw some possible causes at this stage in pregnancy could be veins being pressed upon, lowering the blood supply, and low iron levels. Both could be possibilities for me.

So I slept several hours, trying to stay on my side, and I planned to get some iron – shrimp with baked potato and broccoli tonight, followed by pumpkin pie; big grilled steaks tomorrow. Mark noticed a change in me after dinner. Who knows whether it was the iron, the rest, or just a much-better-than-usual dinner. But I’ll take the treats that come with pregnancy when I can get them.

Yoga

Week two of prenatal yoga and it gets even better. Our class is up to seven and I don’t know any of the women. So I hope over the eight weeks that I’ll form several new mom-of-young-children contacts.

My pre-natal yoga mates from my first pregnancy were a great source of company and companionship in the early months of motherhood. But now that they have moved ahead with second children and/or jobs, it’s tough to get together and I regularly see only one of them (the mother of River’s best friend). I’m ready to meet some more women who will likely have leaves around the same time as me.

The majority of my current classmates are pregnant with their second, which surprises me, since the class I took when pregnant with River was almost all first-time moms. I expected that many women would have trouble getting out to a yoga class when they already have a small child. But evidently, these women have husbands who share the work and allow them time for themselves, which is also great. And finally, one woman was further along than me (33 weeks). So I’m no longer the largest, nor the first to have to cross over to the other side.

It’s an hour and 15 minutes of slow, relaxing movement. The teacher, a mother of a 3.5-year old, wears her long hair in two braids and is the calmest, most zen mother one could imagine. I am not a very zen-like person, so I can only admire her. But she provides great inspiration.

Even better, in those 75 minutes, she succeeds in making me feel calmed, stretched and at peace. Even if it only lasts for the evening, it is a feeling to savor, especially in the later stages of pregnancy. I’m grateful I found this class.

Did you do anything to help meet other expectant parents when you were pregnant or after delivery? What worked well for you?