our mini escape

We made it out of town with just one kiddo. It was definitely more relaxing to not have a toddler around. It would have been even more relaxing to not have a baby either, however, her presence didn’t change things too much, besides the fact that our attention was focused on her during dinner, rather than on each other.

While our excursion was very cheap, getting a babysitter for almost 24 hours was not. I tried not to dwell on how much that cost and instead enjoy the time away. We need an occasional investment in our relationship. In the future though, it may make sense to plan a getaway when the grandparents are visiting, or we are visiting them.

After a mediocre dinner, which was included in our hotel stay Willow went to sleep in her carseat, which we placed in the shower. She slept very well in there, waking up at 1 and at 6, which allowed me some nice blocks of sleep. Mark and I were able to have some couple time, which hasn’t happened in a long time, we were able to read a bit and spend a greater than usual amount of time in each other’s presence.

Today we played pinball while Willow slept among the dings and bangs and pops of the many machines. I recalled my days at Chuck E Cheese, when tickets would spew out of the skee ball machine, allowing me to buy all types of plastic treasures, as I challenged Mark to a game and won. For lunch, we indulged in a soul food buffet, which was fun as a cultural and a culinary adventure. I cheated big time on my no-sugar diet, trying the chocolate cake with creamy chocolate frosting, taking home a piece of red velvet cheesecake, and indulging in apple cider donuts from my favorite orchard.

We returned home to River napping, allowing us a bit more free time. I used my hour to walk nearly three miles in the rain, soaking my jeans from the knee down, but feeling invigorated.

In the evening, we joined friends for a potluck, where we enjoyed good food and company, without the hassle of cooking or cleaning up. River held hands with his buddy and they danced together. It’s fun to see real cooperative play.

Mark thinks we could have had an equally fun time at home, and saved a lot of money. He wasn’t impressed with the dingy town we visited and joked that I like to have adventures in run-down places. But the hotel itself was fine and to me, it was a real vacation. Upon waking up in the hotel, I colored my hair, something I haven’t had time to do in months. I spent the 25 minutes the process took reading a book, without a single interruption from a toddler demanding oatmeal, asking when the oatmeal will be ready, complaining that the oatmeal is too hot. To me, that’s a vacation.

phone home

I called home today and River seems to be doing well. He has a habit of not speaking much on the phone. Though he listens intently, if he talks at all, it’s in a barely audible whisper. He said yes when I asked if he was having fun with his grandparents and toward the end he said “Te amo,” which may have been prompted by my mom.

My mom sounded like she was still thrilled to have him there. She told me how they had taken him to the lake, to the park, to a party, and today were either heading to the beach or to McDonalds playland, depending on the weather.

Each day, I regret that he’s not here for all the things I think he would enjoy – the spectacle of hundreds of motorcycles entering a medieval plaza today, playing with two toddlers at a 3.5 hour Spanish lunch, waving to the airplanes flying into Madrid just above us. But I’m also glad that he’s having his own type of vacation – filled with activities and adventures. He’s also creating family bonds and memories, which is important as well.

That said, I look forward to seeing him again just over a week from now.

At airport, without child

Last night I arrived in this airport with a 2.5-year-old child. I can’t say he misbehaved during the 3-hour flight. He did pretty well. But he didn’t sleep and it’s hard to keep a child entertained and seated within about one square foot of space, especially when the guy in front of him threw dirty glances every time he touched the table on the back of his seat. So I certainly had no rest and spent every minute attending to him.

We had some fun. I enjoyed his excitement at watching the airport activity upon landing, and I was proud of him for drinking 2-3 cups of liquids during the flight and holding it until we reached the bathroom in the airport. But it was tiring and I arrived exhausted.

Now I’ve left him with grandma and grandpa and am off to Europe on my own, where I will meet Mark. Initially, I missed the entertainment value River offered. If nothing else, he always keeps me amused. Then I didn’t know what to do with myself. I soon figured out how to browse the shops, looking for a birthday gift for a friend, then to snag a seat next to a man playing live on a grand piano, and have some quiet writing time with beautiful background music.

Wow, freedom. Free time. Motherhood has taught me to use it well. But sometimes, I want to do nothing more than space out and enjoy the lack of responsibility.

Worldmomma is going to Africa

I found out just a few days ago that I will likely be going soon (as in two weeks from now) to Africa for work. It’s a two-country trip. One country is kind of freaking me out. In my research, the words horrible, prostitutes, corruption, shakedowns, credit card fraud and cockroaches keep coming up. The other is a country I’ve wanted to go to for some time. I hope I may be able to take a couple of days vacation while there to see some sights.

I’m really excited to be going. I’ve been craving an international trip for a while and I was starting to despair as our budget doesn’t really allow such trips these days. Thinking back on the time since River was born, I’ve been overseas four times (to Mexico, Panama/Costa Rica, Russia and Iceland). That’s an average of once every six months, which is know is more than the average mom of a two year old. But I think I have a higher than average need for adventure and I’m very internationally oriented. Also, in the past ten years, I’ve been overseas on average much more than once every six months.

So the craving for the different culture, scenery and lifestyle set in a while ago and I can’t wait. Most of all, I’m looking forward to the sounds and the smells. I love the smell of any new place, but particularly the smell of Africa. And I love the combination of sounds, which comes across to me as exotic, but is the sum of the life and activity that reverberates in that place.

Of course, it won’t be easy to be away from River for two plus weeks. Mark is being incredibly supportive. He’s practically pushing me out the door and telling me to go for as long as I need. I think he recognizes how important it is to my wellbeing.

I hope we can use skype this time and that the ability to see each other live will help bridge the distance. I know I’ll appreciate the evenings in a comfortable hotel bed alone. I know I’ll appreciate being able to listen to people as they tell me about the place they live, and not being interrupted by having to chase after a toddler. But I also know that I’ll miss him deeply. I’ll long for his voice, his hugs and his bright, loving eyes. I also fear something happening to me and leaving him in the world without his biggest fan.

Tonight, when I got home from work, I ran upstairs to change, planning to take River with me to the gym. He loves going there, but at the moment, he wasn’t thinking about the giant drawer of cars in the gym childcare room. He wanted to show me two of his little cars. When I ran upstairs instead of taking the time to look, he stood at the base of the stairs and started to cry.

I felt bad and came back down. I wasn’t giving him the attention he deserved. Mark tried to get his attention, but he pushed him away. He was only interested in showing mom.

“He loves you too much,” Mark said. I know that and I’m so very grateful.