Today I received a birth announcement from a pre-natal yoga buddy who had her first child around the time River was born. She had her second child this week.
She told me about her pregnancy at River’s first birthday party, as did another friend with a child of the same age (she’ll give birth next month). A third friend, whose son is one month older than River, is also expecting. At the time that I found out about the first two pregnancies, I felt a slight quiver of jealousy, as well as being happy for them. There was a short period around the end of breastfeeding where I was willing to take a risk. I knew that getting pregnant then wouldn’t be ideal, but I figured we’d managed.
Now I want to thank the stars that I didn’t risk too much. I can’t imagine having a second child right now. I can’t imagine going through pregnancy and childbirth again anytime soon. Things are now just becoming fun and easy. I’m enjoying it. My body is mine again. I have no desire to either suffer the physical discomforts of pregnancy, nor to deny River the individual attention I can give him at this exciting stage of discovery in his life.
I’d like more children in the future, but it’s more of a distant wish. Right now, there is no immediate urge, even when I see baby pictures. It’s nice to be present within myself, for Mark and for River. I like the balance I now have.
Did you experience a longing for another child? How long after you had your first?