Breaking the news

I told the family today. I should have told them before I arrived because maybe then they would have had some food on hand for my arrival.

In the car from the airport, I asked my dad if there was any food in the house. Because growing up, there wasn’t much of it. I remember sneaking white bread with mayonnaise or processed American cheese as an after dinner snack. That was about the best thing available. We weren’t poor, we just didn’t have much in the fridge.

“Oh yes, I just went grocery shopping,” he said. Cool.

So I was doubly disappointed when we got there and my choices were something like salad dressing of my choice, a strawberry and a grape tomato. The few things they did have were either heavily processed or refined white carbohydrates – yogurt full of all kinds of additives, ice cream in the form of dots. I was so craving meat – chicken, meatloaf, something cooked. Nothing.

The best I could do was a frozen brat on a white bun. When I pulled out the ketchup, something looked wrong. I felt bad as I knew I was already being a food snob. But when I looked at the date, I saw it expired in December 2006. I pulled out the second bottle and that one had expired in 2007.

I’m never more hungry than when I visit the grandparents. When my mom wants to cook, she can make some great things. But their typical diet is filled with processed foods, chemicals, additives, and happy hour bar junk food. Yuck. My husband’s parents usually have a lot of deli meat, bagels and sometimes, ice cream, on hand. But if I want anything other than that, I’m hungry. Who would have thought that trying to return to things made with natural, more simple ingredients would so remove me from the older generation?

My mom made lemon Jell-O with canned fruit. When I asked for some, she said she’d made it for River. I said he didn’t need the sugar and the artificial ingredients.

“But it has fruit in it,” my mom said.

“Then give him some fruit.” He’ll never know he’s missing Jello. I don’t think he’s even had Jello before. I don’t mind him having a treat every so often. But I feel a lot better about it if it’s a homemade treat, made with real ingredients, rather than from a package with unpronounceable components.

So anyway, my parents, my sister-in-law and my nieces are excited and I think there will be a little more food, for the fetus’s benefit at least, when I swing by again. My niece is hoping for a girl, as am I, though I’m not expecting it.

Today River met my friend’s 11-week-old. He did well. He showed some interest, seemed concerned when he cried and gave him tickles. So I’m hopeful he’ll do OK with the arrival of a sibling. I think he’ll be beyond the age where he could be legitimately angry at having attention he needs taken away from him, and be ready instead to be a role model and then playmate. At least that’s my hope.

Developing interests

Today at the art museum, I didn’t expect River to enjoy the formal artwork. But since it was free, I took him, expecting him to last a few minutes.

To my surprise, he loved it. He wandered from room to room, commenting on the paintings, the statues, even the old pottery. He seems to be fulfilling the prophecy of the his Chinese horoscope we got for him when he was two months old, trying to seek some information on what kind of person he would be. It said he will appreciate the finer things in life and that he may become an art collector.

I find it kind of incredible at the age of 2.5 to already be able to detect interests. So far, River’s include: books, art, music, dance and nature, as well as cars, trains, dinosaurs and animals. He loves long walks, but otherwise, hasn’t shown much of a propensity toward the physical.

The things I like, like books, nature, food and long walks, will be a part of his life no matter what. But I wonder what to do about the other things. As he gets closer to where he might benefit from more targeted exposures, do I give him more opportunities in art and music because he shows an interest in those things? Or do I give him more physical opportunities because he could use some more help and because an enjoyment of sports is good for a balanced, healthy life?

What do you do? Do you target your kids activities based on what they gravitate towards, what they could use for better balance, or both?

A book addict

I think we officially have a book addict in our house. River used to want food immediately upon waking up. Now he wants books. First books to page through himself while on the potty. Then at least one, preferably three, books read to him before he’ll even think about breakfast.

Through the day, he’ll listen to as many books as he can get people to read to him. I’d say 20 is probably a fair average. At the last Spanish story hour, he was the only child who actually listened to all the books the librarian read.

“It’s so beautiful, how he sits and pays attention,” said one caregiver of a younger child who was running all over the room. She said she wasn’t going to bring this child any more since she didn’t pay attention. I thought, I’ve got a little nerd in the making. But I like him just the way he is.

Last night I came home tired from work and he approached me with a stack of six books. “These are books for mama,” he said, indicating that they were in Spanish (as they were).

The first one he selected was the 62-page Amelia Bedelia, in Spanish. I was initially excited as I had fond memories of Amelia Bedelia and was enthusiastic to be able to reread it. But perhaps I’ve lost my child-like sense of humor, because it seemed kind of lame this time around.

He sat through the entire 62 pages. Then wanted another one immediately afterwards. Then another. He wanted to get through the whole stack, and one of them (which I managed to avoid) was even longer than Amelia Bedelia.

I finally cut him off after three, telling him I was tired, and feeling like a lame-o mom. So he asked me to bring him over to the bookshelf and lift him up. There, he pulled a stack of flashcards off the shelf, climbed up on the table and started looking through the flashcards on his own.

It’s a child in my image, a child who loves to learn and can completely lose oneself in books. I have a lot of fond memories of intensive reading as a child and I regret that not only is time a factor in preventing that these days, but my concentration level doesn’t seem to be as high as it once was. Perhaps there were times I might have benefited from more socialization or organization activities, especially of a challenging or intellectual nature. But lacking that, books were my friends.

Mark is worried that River has an addiction. He thinks it’s extreme. It’s hard for me to see any harm in a two year old losing himself in books. He learns words, ideas, concepts and stories. What else is he supposed to be doing with his time at this age? Yes, perhaps he could use a little more physical challenges and/or socialization. We’ll be working on that in the next year or so.
But for now, he’s a book boy and it makes me happy.

First haircut

We were able to go a whole 29 months without ever cutting River’s hair. Admittedly, I was stretching it a bit in the final months. But really, at least until age 2, there was not enough hair to warrant a cut.

So when the time finally came, I took him to a chain that specializes in kids and hoped for a good cut. Mark was opposed and suggested we give him a buzz cut ourselves, or at the cheapest place possible. Another friend offered to cut his hair for me.

Part of me didn’t want to spend a lot of money on child haircuts, and that was part of the reason for waiting so long. But once it’s time, I figured it was worth investing in a good cut. I still recall the bad cut I received as a child when my mom took me to a training center for cosmetologists.

We’re a bit lazy when it comes to fixing River’s hair or dressing him up for standard excursions out of the house. If he has a good cut, hopefully he’ll look OK, even if we fail at maximizing his personal appearance.

So we went to the salon, where the process was done quickly. River held up very well. At times he had a questioning look, as if to say, what are these people doing to me. But I think he trusts me and that my presence there helped him to acquiesce. He seemed to enjoy seeing himself in the mirror with his new do, and really loved the lollypop and the mini toy skateboard he got at the end.

He’s my little man now. The baby has been long since left behind.