preparing for a new baby

One of my several friends who is expecting within the next five months asked me what I thought she needed. She wanted to be parsimonious, but to be prepared. I had asked a friend a similar question when I was pregnant and I really found it helpful to have a list to work from. My friend was so happy she said she was going to register directly off this list.

So in case it’s of use to someone besides her, here is my list of what is useful to get for a first child and what can be skipped:

A friend urged me to get this book. I was sceptical, but I found it at the library, and it actually does really go through what's useful and what's a waste of money. It also helps with recommending brands, so you don't have to do all the research on 50 different items.


For us, the best purchases were:
1. A good swing. The Fisher Price Papasan ROCKS! It was the only way we could get River to sleep during the day for the first 9 months or so.

2. Swaddles. We had the swaddle mes. Also a good sleep aid.

3. A few outfits that have the little hand covers so the baby doesn't scratch himself.

4. The Fisher Price Rainforest jumper. Also a lifesaver from age 4 months on.

5. I resisted the infant car seat, but then a friend lent me her Graco Snug Ride and the stroller frame. This is the ultimate in easy portability. It's lightweight, fits easily into the car and allows the baby to go from the car to the stroller to the house without waking up. After borrowing it for a few weeks, we bought it. The car seats appear for free on Freecycle frequently and can be bought cheap on Craig's List. Unless you want to do some serious running, I think this stroller is sufficient until the baby grows out of the infant seat. At that point, you might have a better idea of what the baby likes. For example, River really loved being upright and looking around. Other kids might prefer reclining and relaxing.

6. The Ergo carrier. Really good from a few months to toddlerhood.

7. Baby Bjorn bibs - these are hard to find and are so superior to anything I've seen in the stores and Baby Bjorn little potties.

8. Diapers and wipes are a good thing to register for because they will be the main expense in the first month. Pampers seems to be the best.

9. My Brest Friend pillow - more practical than the Boppys b/c you can attach it with the belt and move around while the baby is nursing. Pretty handy for doing email while breastfeeding.

10. A good supply of magazines and DVDs for late nights!

11. For travel, the Baby Bjorn travel crib is far superior to anything else out there (at least it was when I bought mine). And it's worth the cost - lightweight and truly sets up and can be taken apart in less than 2 minutes.

12. A large supply of BumGeniuses. I'm sure other brands are just as good. There are downsides to using cloth, including much more of a stank in the house. But these got us from age 3 months or so until we finished with diapers at 25 months and I think we ended up saving a lot by not buying diapers. If you do use cloth, a kitchen size covered garbage can and these liners will do the trick. It took us way too long to figure this out.

13. A baby bathtub - first a small one, than a ring that the baby can sit upright in, but can't fall into the water.

14. A couple of nursing bras

15. A good digital ear thermometer.

16. A pump and related equipment if you plan to pump. I hear the hospital has some available and perhaps it's better to try there. But I was never offered the opportunity to use them.

Mistakes were:
1. Taking a hand-me-down pump with a weak battery (I didn't realize the battery was weak until I handed it down to another friend. But that may have been once cause of my inability to get much milk pumping).

2. Buying a new co-sleeper. It was only used for a few months and we could have bought one used for a fraction of the price.

3. Things like foam for the floor and a gated playpen. Total waste.

4. Not waiting until the birth to buy a baby carrier. I think this is one of those things that it's worth buying from a store, getting fitted, and making sure it works for both mom and baby.

5. Baby Bjorn carrier. Kills the back.

6. Any type of thing we thought he might sleep in during the day. Nothing worked but the swing.

7. We didn't buy a ton of clothes or a ton of toys/books for the first months. But if we had, it would have been a waste.

8. Nursing clothes. Ugly, cheap and a button down blouse can do the same thing.

If I Had to Do it Over Again - Products

I posted a version of this earlier. But now that we’ve reached the one year mark, this is my definitive list of what I valued and what I’d do without during the first year.

During pregnancy:

• What to Expect When You’re Expecting



• Be Prepared and The New Father books for dad



• The Snoogle body pillow



• Baby Bargains book



• Almond oil – I used this to avoid stretch marks on the recommendation of a Spanish friend. Don’t know if this is what prevented them, but I made it into the 10% or so of women who avoid stretch marks.
  
  Things I’d do without:
  · Breast pads and lanolin cream. Wait to see if you need them before buying.

Months 0+:

• Swaddle Mes (we used through 7 months)



• A good swing – we loved the Fisher Price Papasan



• Onesies



• What to Expect the First Year



• Sleepsacks



• My Brest Friend (I’d borrow one or buy it used)



• A baby carrier, but I’d purchase it AFTER the child is born to see which one is comfortable and which one the baby likes



• Photo frame with hand or foot imprint



• Lots of burp cloths



• For travel, a stroller frame (such as the Graco SnugRide) that accepts a pop-in carseat is the lightest way to go.



• Fenugreek, alfalfa or other milk-producing herb



• A breastpump



• A baby bathtub



• Household help



• Car-I-Oke music CD



• Easy Expressions hands free pumping bra (if breastfeeding and pumping)



• I didn’t have this, but if I had it to do over, I’d get the Baby Bjorn bouncer. We tried it at a friend’s house and it was snug and comfortable, a rare place where we could set River down.
  
  Things I’d do without:
  · A boppy
  · A crib or bassinet or playpen – if you think you need one, it’s still a good idea to wait until after the birth to see what the baby will accept. Many babies only want the closeness of another human for the first weeks or months.
  · Lots of fancy clothes – onesies and sleepsacks are the mainstay
  · A fancy stroller
  · Fancy nursery décor – the baby isn’t going to take any notice; it’s only worth it if it makes the parents happy.

Months 3+:

• An Ergo carrier – this is most useful at 6 months+, but it’s the best carrier I’ve come across and good for long-term use. It’s expensive though, so it would be a better deal to find one used.



• A jumper – if your baby isn’t eager to stand, this could wait, but if s/he is, they will love this. We liked the Fisher Price Rainforest Jumper.



• The swing remains very useful



• Some type of bed. If you want to make life easier, probably a crib that you’ll use for the long term would be best.



• BumGenius all-in-one cloth diapers – so easy even the dad accepts them.
  
  Things I’d do without:
  · An exersaucer – unless you can pick one up for free, as you often can on freecycle
  · Any type of travel crib or pen. Unless baby can roll over, a bed or carseat works just fine. If you are actually traveling though and expect to continue traveling, this crib is expensive, but amazing.
  · Any but a few basic toys – the whole world is a toy.
  · Toys, accessories for car or stroller. We just didn’t find them necessary.
  · The chairs that help baby sit – those are useful for about two weeks, if you’re lucky.
  · Rice paper liners for cloth diapers – they irritated Soren’s behind and are only useful until the poops become more solid.
  · Any of the breastpump cleaning supplies – microwave sterilizing kit, wipes, etc. Never used them.
  · A fancy bedtime routine. Maybe some kids need it, but others don’t. No need for parents to stress themselves out with thinking that baby needs a bath every day before bed or other rituals if a bottle and a bedtime song are enough.
  

Months 6+

• A crib, if you don’t have one already



• Motherease cloth diapers (for home use – you can tell right away when baby is wet. This is useful if you don’t want baby to get used to sitting in wetness). Also, the snap-diapers (such as Fuzzi-Bunz) are more useful once baby figures out how to pull apart the velco



• Baby Bjorn little potty



• A professional portrait – surprisingly worth it. Sears did a great job



• Silicone ice cube trays and muffin pans for making baby food



• A decent food processor or blender. This one has worked well for us.



• An upright seat for the bathtub that keeps baby upright and contained, but allows to interact with water



• Pedometer and The Step Diet book – time to make sure mom is moving enough and beginning to shed that weight. After 8 months of carrying around over 20 extra pounds, I dropped 15 within a few months of starting this.



• The Baby Bjorn bibs. These are expensive, but worth it. They are the only ones I could find with a pocket and made from a solid enough plastic that the food actually falls into the pocket.
  
  Things I’d do without:



• Foam for the floor while learning to crawl – the usefulness is also very limited and baby will learn to crawl in any case. We used ours a grand total of once.



• Same thing with the playyard. Maybe it would be useful if you have a large amount of space and can fence the baby into a limited area. For us, it was pretty useless since it took up most of the living space. In any case, we had other places to put him if an adult needed to be away for a short period of time. When an adult was there, we didn’t have the need to pen him in.



• Onesies - once the potty training begins, onesies are a pain to take off and get the baby on the pot. A few would be useful for special occasions. But for home, normal shirts work much better.



• Shoes – we didn’t see any use for them before he could walk



• Bulk quantities of baby food (unless you are planning to feed primarily jarred food). While the needs may seem large early on, River was completely off of all baby products by 12 months and was eating large portions of standard food before then. The time during which a baby needs purees and special baby foods is limited.

Months 9-12
At this age, our need for products is starting to go down dramatically. Clothes, a few used toys, a steady supply of good food and lots of hugs and attention seem to keep River happy. Books started to be appreciated at this age. Farm animal books are great, as are books with textures. A couple of things that have gone over very well are:

• A push walker – The time period that this is useful, in the period just before walking, is very short. This is good item to get used.



• The Leap Frog activity table has provided lots of fun. It’s also a good surface to pull up against. The activities on the table provide motivation to pull up



• Balls, especially lightweight ones, are fun to roll back and forth.

• Parents schoolbus – the bus is powered by pushing down on the driver. River enjoys taking the four student passengers in and out of the bus.

• A pair of soft-soled leather shoes comes in handy once baby is pulling off his/her socks. These shoes are easy to slide on, babies seem to like them, and both the socks and shoes stay on. It also provides some warmth and protection, especially when baby is starting to spend more time on his/her feet. We found one pair to be sufficient, though I know parents who have various pair to match outfits. In fact, in the first year, this pair of shoes was the only one we ever used, except for a single dress-up occasion.