Listening to my child speak

I still get a strange thrill listening to my child speak English. Since I’ve never communicated with him in English, it’s like listening to him speak a foreign language. For a long time, he spoke it with an accent and he spoke it more hesitantly, with less skill than in Spanish.

But now he’s caught up and seems to be quite fluent in both languages. I wonder what it is that captivates me so, given that I speak English most of the day.

I think it’s the knowledge that none of his English comes from me. Knowing that I haven’t taught him a word in English makes me recognize that every single word he utters, every construction he puts together, comes from a source other than me. That despite how important I am in his life, at this young age, he’s capable of picking up an entire language without my participation. If he can do that, before the age of 3, I just imagine how much else he is soaking in from the world around him. The influences are small, but they accumulate and I see the massive effect in his fluency. He is already a part of the wider world.

Really cool toy

Mark thought it was silly when I drove 20 minutes to go pick up a marble toy (Discovery Toys Super Marbleworks) from someone on Freecycle. But now that we’ve finally brought it out, I’m so glad I did. Not only does River love it, not only does it entertain him for long periods of time, but it requires real thought on how things are put together and how things work. I’ve even improved with a day of playing with it. The tower today is much more interesting than the one I built the first day. River quickly grasped onto how it works and was easy to understand what made the wheel turn and how to add additional pieces.

For River, 27 months seems to be the transition point to a more mature way of thinking and acting. At this point, we’re starting to be able to identify his strengths and his not so strong areas.

Mark and I are in agreement that he does not have the mark of an athlete. I will encourage him to be athletic, but we’re not counting on any sports scholarships here. His throw is not bad and he has the stamina to walk a very long way. But while other kids are bouncing all over the place, he still won’t step down a stair without someone’s hands for support.

On the flip side though, we are noticing skills in his ability to notice and remember details, the desire and ability to figure things out and a calm persistence to do so. He is kind, empathetic and interested in other children, and seems to be attracted to music.

So I’m thinking of looking into music lessons when he is three or so, will continue to focus on the languages as an intellectual challenge and skill, and am always happy to find cool toys like this one that add analytical thought to play.

River's First Word

I think I’ve been hearing him say it for a while now, but in the past day or two, it’s been made official with others hearing and recognizing it as well.

River now says mama, with a clear indication that it’s me he wants.

“Congratulations,” Mark said, on me being his first word.

I suppose it’s nice and it definitely makes me feel good to see that he wants me, to know that I can comfort him and make him feel better. Those signs of affection are enough and I wouldn’t have minded if he said daddy first.

What excites me most is that he’s beginning to communicate. Soon, we’ll see the results of my experiment in bilingualism. I know other babies that are talking earlier and I have to remind myself that we can expect an average delay of two months because of him learning a second language.

His babbling has definitively taken on the sound of a foreign language lately and it’s clear he’s trying to communicate. I hear an Asian ring to many of his words – such as do-ying or digalits. I wonder if it comes from the Chinese babysitter he had during his first two months or whether that’s just how baby talk sounds. Mark thinks it sounds African, like Swahili, so maybe it’s just a matter of perspective.

Mama could be either English or Spanish, so it’s unclear where he’s headed in terms of embracing the two languages. I’m eager to hear him say his first word in Spanish and I’m curious to see what it will be. I wonder how many of his first words will be in English and how many in Spanish. I wonder how he’ll mix them, how he’ll distinguish between them, whether or not he’ll use them with the people who understand that language.

I wonder how he’ll accept it when he realizes I do speak English, just not to him. I wonder if he’ll appreciate learning a second language without really having to work at it or whether he’ll resent me and fight it.

For now, I’m trying to ensure that he has other people in his life who speak Spanish besides me (Mirena is also being raised bilingual and when she comes over, the language in the house is Spanish), especially since I’m not a native speaker. Grace also speaks to him only in Spanish. Right now, he’s probably hearing more hours per week of Spanish than he is of English. Since I know that will change as he gets older, I hope he can take advantage of it now.

At the same time, I’m thinking of taking him to Russia later this winter. We would probably stay with my friends there and be largely immersed in a Russian environment. I wonder how that would impact his language learning skills, if upon hearing those harsh, strange five-syllable words he might just throw up his hands and say, forget this, I think I’ll continue with the point and huff for a while longer. Luckily, mama would be understood, even in Russian.

A New Type of Language

Mark taught River a guttural guffaw, a throaty, mocking laugh. It reminds me of the hacking sound the Chinese make as they clear their throat, except he follows it with a laugh instead of a spit. Mark did it to make River laugh, then got excited when River imitated him. They began to go back and forth, taking turns making this sound.

“You’re going to make him think this means something,” I said.

“He’s communicating with me!” he enthused. “This is the first time we’ve communicated.”

By this morning, as River guffawed all throughout breakfast, eagerly waiting my response, Mark was repentant.

“He thinks it’s language,” I said.

“I know. I shouldn’t have taught him that.”

An early lesson in what babies will pick up by imitation. In the meantime, he’s hacking with a smile all over the house, so proud of himself for picking up an adult skill, looking at us eagerly for a similar response.