Lessons learned from day three of road trip with toddler

1. It got easier with each day. I must have been learning something, or we must have learned to mutually accommodate each other. It was a constant that I was exhausted at the end of the day though and didn’t get much personal time.

2. I realized that I can be in charge for 24 hours a day for a few days in a row. I can do it at the sacrifice of personal time. Also, it helped that I didn’t have any household responsibilities to take care of. If I was taking care of him and responsible for normal household duties, I think I’d end up spending a lot of time distracting him so that I could get things done, and the quality of our time spent together would be significantly lower.

3. I noticed several intellectual advances this weekend (successful counting five objects, singing almost the whole ABCs, telling me I did in fact have keys (the car keys) when I said I was locked out of the house). I wonder whether this came from the intense time together and the variety of new exposures, or whether I was just noticing because I was spending more time with him.

4. When there is only one adult around, it’s especially challenging to make use of the down time (ie. nap and sleep times). With two adults, one can stay with him while the other gets some exercise, goes to the store, or does whatever they want to do that requires adult focus. With one, I’m forced to sit around and then to include him in my errands when he is awake. It’s tougher that way.

5. It’s refreshing to get away, to let the emails build up, and to not be concerned with the day to day stresses and pressures. Even if getting away includes taking care of a toddler all day. It’s nice to focus on what is important.

6. I’m glad I did this. He got out of his usual groove and I think it stretched his mind and range of experiences, even if he won’t remember anything. I will remember all the special moments with him, and I explored some new areas.

7. I’m very, very grateful for a loving husband who shares responsibilities and makes sure we both get the personal time that makes us sane.

Lessons I’m learning from day one of roadtrip with toddler

Yes mom, this is Buddha. Remember zen?


1. Toddler may well be psyched to see the wolves, but he will not last beyond a small fraction of a one hour tour.

2. Time outs in the crib work well at home. But I am struggling with how to discipline while on the road. Especially while out in public on the road. Instead, I take in many disapproving looks when my toddler doesn’t listen to me and I spend much of the day chasing him.

3. Singing songs together in the car on the way to a destination is very special quality time.

4. If naptime doesn’t happen, you are screwed, no matter what you do.

5. Have a supply of water, snacks and Hot Wheels on hand, at all times.

6. Having a second room is a huge bonus. If that’s not available, a B&B with an attractive lobby is a good substitute.

7. Free homebaked goods, hot beverages and a Jacuzzi can soothe the stresses of the roughest day.

8. DO NOT OVERPLAN. Lower expectations. Yes, we’ll see wolves. But no, I won’t be able to actually listen to anything the tour guide says. Many people have pressed me to slow down my pace in the past. Perhaps my toddler will finally force me to change.

Mom and toddler roadtrip

1/12/10 mom and toddler roadtrip

When I found out that I have MLK day off, I immediately wanted to take advantage of the three-day weekend. I don’t have another paid holiday until the end of May. Mark is still tired from the holiday travel. I didn’t mind. I figured it might be fun to take a road trip with my baby, and dad will appreciate the gift of a few days of silent time alone at home.

I was so excited by the prospect that I couldn’t concentrate the first day at all. Instead, I scanned websites, trying to figure out where to go. A place in Vermont that provided free childcare while I skied looked great, but I was nervous to drive snowy mountain roads alone in our unreliable car. I was attracted to the warmth of more southern locales, but the drive was too long and the flight too expensive. I started to look at nearby options, but I felt the number of places I hadn’t been to already was growing steadily smaller. And it had to be interesting to a two year old.

I decided first upon a Wolf Sanctuary I’d heard of and wanted to visit for a while. I tentatively thought of some other nearby destinations, but upon contacting friends in the area, I changed directions. Right now, the itinerary for our three day excursion includes visit to a wolf sanctuary, a science center, a color crayon center and visits with three friends. I’m splurging on a suite in a bed and breakfast the first night (this is the only room where they’d accept a child, though they gave me a discount since I originally inquired about the cheapest room). On the second night, we’ll stay in a chain that gets good reviews and has an indoor swimming pool.

I find that I’m really excited about the trip, almost as much as if I was going to do something like hiking or skiing. I’m looking forward to the nice hotels, to trying new restaurants, to seeing friends, to spending quality adventure time with my baby, to creating memories, and hopefully, to exposing him to fun new experiences.

I imagine him sleeping well and me having quiet time to myself in a large comfy bed at night. I’m fighting hard against my natural tendency to overschedule and I imagine he’ll behave just fine through the morning activities and lunch, then take a nice nap in the hotel that will allow us to check in early enough for naptime. Of course, these may all be illusions. I might end up being an exhausted wreck at the end who gratefully brings River back to dad at the end.

I think what I’m most excited about is that since our last trip as a twosome (to Panama, when he was six months old), he is now able to take in the trip for himself. He can walk, explore, appreciate new sights and experiences and share some of his thoughts and impressions with me. It’s now more of a joint endeavor. And that makes me very eager to go.