Two weeks on the road

Only another day or two left of the family vacation. We’ve covered over 1300 miles by car and still have another 150 to go.



It’s been good – lots of experiences and memories. I’m glad we’re doing it and am grateful we’re able to do it. But I have to admit that I’m tired. Naps have gone way down on the road and crankiness and misbehavior have resulted (mainly from the toddler). We haven’t had a babysitter since back in the Dells and I miss being able to have a few hours to myself. Whenever there is a free moment, I’m usually pumping (two weeks of work have earned me a measly three bottles of milk for next week) or visiting with relatives.


I ask River if he misses school/friends. “No, I don’t miss anything,” he says. He seems confused about how many houses we have now (our real house, our rental cabin, the relatives’ houses we’ve stayed in) and seems perfectly content to live indefinitely at any of these houses. But today he did ask me when we are going back to the red house (our house). I commented on how we’re spending time in a lot of different houses and hotels.

“We’re spending a lot of time in the car,” he said. Yes, he’s correct.

We have one more day of fun left (Paul Bunyanland!) followed by a little time with my family. Then Mark leaves, River stays with my parents, and I head down down a conference with Willow in tow.


So now my focus is moving somewhat to the conference. It’s hard to believe I’ll be there in just a few days. I’m enthusiastic about having childcare (I found a family daycare that will take her for a week) and some time to do things, but am also stressed about whether or not I’ll be able to cover her milk supply with breastmilk.

I pump for 30 minutes, get two ounces, and seem to have nothing left. Then Willow feeds and her mouth is overflowing with milk. I worry that pumping just doesn’t work for me and I don’t know why. I have such a paltry supply to bring along with me and worry that I won’t get enough by pumping. I may need to run back and feed her.


I suppose this is good practice for heading back to work in July, though I won’t be able to run back and feed her so often then. It’s a necessary change, but stressful.

Vacationing, or trying to, with two little ones

It’s hard to believe we are just over a week into our vacation. We have crammed so many experiences and events into so few days, and I’m so exhausted I sometimes wonder if this is really a vacation. It is for River, I remind myself. And I have the pleasure of watching him enjoy things.

I’ve definitely had some fun. I was able to go down some waterslides in the Dells, to enjoy the Wisconsin Ducks, to have a good meal, to visit with relatives, to luxuriate in the rare hour or two to myself. But since Mark has had to continue to work while on vacation (hopefully today is the last day), I’m spending most of my time planning, executing or cleaning up.

It’s interesting to be reminded of the variety of people and life experiences in the U.S. I’m surprised to find myself in the agricultural heartland, and to learn that here, grass-fed milk and free-range chickens are really hard to come by. I’m reminded of the poverty – of people who travel to get a job that pays $10 an hour, people who drive from one supermarket to another to buy the things on sale, people who live in the waterpark capital of the world, yet have never been to the major parks, because it costs too much to take a family of 10.


In some places, I long for the beauty of the land and the friendliness of the people. In others, I find the limited perspectives so claustrophobic I can’t wait to get away. My mom grew up in the latter type of place and as I grow older, I respect her ability to escape.


One relative in this place told me how she dissuaded her daughter from becoming a physical therapist.


“It takes eight years of school,” she said. “So I sat down with my daughter and I asked her what kind of mother she wants to be. Does she want to be a working mom or a stay at home mom? She said she’d like to stay home if she can. So I did the calculations with her. We looked at the cost of eight years of school, how old she’d be at that point, and how many years she might be able to work before having kids. The math did not work out. She wouldn’t make enough to cover the cost of the education. So I suggested she become a physical therapist assistant instead. That only requires two years of education.”


The argument seems logical on the surface. However, it ignores the fact that spouses tend to have similar levels of education. If she were to get more education, she’d be more likely to meet more educated men. Her chance of having a husband who could earn enough to allow her to stay home would increase.


Then there is the fact that a mother’s level of education has significant impacts on her children’s education levels (this mom who talked her daughter out of her dream has a high school education).


And then there is life after kids. Even if this girl wants to spend 15 or 20 years at home raising children, she still has a lot of time left in her expected life. Being well educated would give her more options, either in her chosen field, or in another area.

I knew that many young people in these areas have less access to information about educational options or career possibilities beyond those they see in their communities. However, I was reminded that some young girls are still discouraged from pursuing their dreams, even by those they love.

 

Tomorrow we face the longest drive of the trip – up to ten hours without stops. So far the kids have behaved quite well in the car. We brought limited toys – a couple of books and a couple of Matchbox cars. Sometimes River talks incessantly, other times he sleeps. But there have been no major problems so far.

 

Willow’s beautiful sleep schedule, with the 10:30 p.m. and 5:30 a.m. feedings, went out the window with this trip. I’m now feeding her repeatedly throughout the night again. I’ll just have to wait until we get home, and perhaps until I’ve been back at work a while, to reinstate the schedule.

 

One nice discovery we’ve made through the forced close quarters is that River and Willow are able to sleep in the same room without disturbing each other. Willow goes to sleep first and River is able to go to bed and fall asleep without bothering her. She wakes up crying for food in the night and River does not emerge from his deep sleep. This is reassuring, since we were planning to put them in the same room after we returned home.

Another big change is that River has been forced to sleep in a big boy bed for the first time. At the first hotel, the beds were very high and unfortunately, he fell out. Since then, we’ve pushed his bed against the wall when possible, and put carry-on size suitcases on either side of him. He hasn’t fallen again since and he stays in bed for his naps and his sleep without a problem.

We also ran the experiment of letting him skip his nap, for several days in a row. There was just too much fun stuff to do, and too many relatives to see, to force him to sleep the afternoon away. I found out that he can manage without the nap, but he does get cranky, and he also picked up a bad cold (that he subsequently passed on to Willow and to me), perhaps due to reduced immunity. I worried that after going so long without it, he might not resume napping. However, now that the flurry of activity is over, I’ve been giving him his nap again and he is sleeping. Whew! That quiet afternoon time is a lifesaver for us.

All in all, I’m learning that traveling as a family of four is possible, it can be fun, but that extra hands (family or a babysitter) make for a much more enjoyable time. We’ve learned that we carry a lot of crap for a 3-4 week trip and that a full-size car is a nice luxury. We are sharing lots of special moments and I’m grateful for this time. But I also look forward to future vacations, when they are older and more independent and I can sit back and read for a bit while they do something of interest to them.

The vacation begins

Day two of vacation and so far, I’m having a good time. We found a couple of babysitters on care.com and today the first one helped us out while Mark was working. It’s made it a lot less stressful to have one adult for each child. I’m able to feed Willow, do some fun things with River, and have a little down time when Willow is napping.

I have carried fond memories of Wisconsin Dells since my visit here as a young teenager. It is still as fun as I remembered it and I’m really enjoying seeing River experience it. We’re at a complex with indoor and outdoor waterparks and indoor and outdoor theme parks. Even though it is raining, there is plenty to do and River’s day is just one long continuum of fun.

I took Willow for her first swim and was able to try all four of the waterslides myself. I love our hotel room, which has a king-size bed for us and a second room with beds for the kids. Best of all, since we’re here midweek and before Memorial Day weekend, the prices are low and the crowds few. We don’t have to wait in line for anything.


I’ve been eating yummy and unique food – homemade macaroni and cheese, a couple of great salads, cheesecake with pop rocks and a pomegranate cupcake with ginger frosting. It’s good to be on vacation.

First flight with two kids

We managed to get everything in reasonable order and to leave the house on time (thanks in large part to a friend who invited River over to play for three hours on Sunday). The only minor mishap took place enroute to the airport shuttle. Traveling for a month with two kids requires a ginormous amount of stuff. More stuff than can fit into a compact car. So Mark first brought the double stroller over to the pickup site, dropped it off, then returned for us and the luggage.


When we returned, the stroller was gone. I was the one who suggested leaving it, thinking it unlikely that patrons of the business-oriented hotel would be interested in stealing a stroller at 7 a.m. So I had a minor internal panic, imagining how I was going to manage the entire trip with Willow in an Ergo, until we found out that the hotel staff had moved the stroller and we were able to get it back.


The five-month old, on her premier flight, spit up at least four times, showering herself, myself and my husband, but thankfully, not any other passengers.


The three-year-old was an excited bundle of energy and was bouncing off his seat. At least in between his bouts of eating – a pint of blueberries, cookies, pretzels, a bowl of mixed fruit, a bagel.


No prolonged screaming though and our neighbors were still willing to speak to us at the end of the flight. So I suppose that overall, it wasn’t bad.


We arrived exhausted, but thankful for a comfortable place to stay and a nice meal. We rented a full-size car, which feels like a luxury, but still presents a struggle to fit everything. The research I did said that our 21-pound Joovy Caboose ultralight was one of the lightest, most portable double strollers. Perhaps it’s because I haven’t used any other double strollers, but man, is that thing a pain to carry around.


We’ll squeeze whatever we can in tomorrow, and leave the rest with family. River was excited about the flight, and now he’s excited about the waterpark. One of the best parts of this trip for me will be sharing in his excitement.