Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Two weeks on the road

Only another day or two left of the family vacation. We’ve covered over 1300 miles by car and still have another 150 to go.

It’s been good – lots of experiences and memories. I’m glad we’re doing it and am grateful we’re able to do it. But I have to admit that I’m tired. Naps have gone way down on the road and crankiness and misbehavior have resulted (mainly from the toddler). We haven’t had a babysitter since back in the Dells and I miss being able to have a few hours to myself. Whenever there is a free moment, I’m usually pumping (two weeks of work have earned me a measly three bottles of milk for next week) or visiting with relatives.

I ask River if he misses school/friends. “No, I don’t miss anything,” he says. He seems confused about how many houses we have now (our real house, our rental cabin, the relatives’ houses we’ve stayed in) and seems perfectly content to live indefinitely at any of these houses. But today he did ask me when we are going back to the red house (our house). I commented on how we’re spending time in a lot of different houses and hotels.

“We’re spending a lot of time in the car,” he said. Yes, he’s correct.

We have one more day of fun left (Paul Bunyanland!) followed by a little time with my family. Then Mark leaves, River stays with my parents, and I head down down a conference with Willow in tow.

So now my focus is moving somewhat to the conference. It’s hard to believe I’ll be there in just a few days. I’m enthusiastic about having childcare (I found a family daycare that will take her for a week) and some time to do things, but am also stressed about whether or not I’ll be able to cover her milk supply with breastmilk.

I pump for 30 minutes, get two ounces, and seem to have nothing left. Then Willow feeds and her mouth is overflowing with milk. I worry that pumping just doesn’t work for me and I don’t know why. I have such a paltry supply to bring along with me and worry that I won’t get enough by pumping. I may need to run back and feed her.

I suppose this is good practice for heading back to work in July, though I won’t be able to run back and feed her so often then. It’s a necessary change, but stressful.

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