Realization of the Self

Lately, River seems to be pretty proud of his strength. “River fuerte, fuerte,” he says, as he’s either lifting something truly heavy (like a 2-litter of soda) or something that he can pretend is heavy, like a large brick made of cardboard.

“Oh yes, River is very strong,” I’ll respond.

It strikes me that he’s now cognizant of himself as a person with unique characteristics. He’s very focused on himself. When I take a photo or video, he’ll often move his attention from whatever he is doing to the camera. “River, River!” he calls out, wanting to see the photos and videos of him on the camera screen. We recently figured out we could play videos from Youtube on the large-screen TV and he likes nothing better than sitting around and watching endless videos of himself.

The recent videos make him laugh, as he’s easily identifiable. When we show him older videos, from 9 months or so ago, when he still looks more like a baby than a toddler, he seems confused. “River?” he asks, looking for verification that the creature moving on the screen is really him. It’s a person he doesn’t remember, nor does he remember the moments that were captured. But I imagine that all those moments added up make him the person he is today, a little person becoming aware of his presence.