Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Making the announcement

My first ever Facebook pregnancy announcement makes me feel strangely a part of the modern age. I joined Facebook shortly before River was born. I believe I posted a few pics after his birth, but didn’t announce my pregnancy there.

A facebook announcement is the official statement of open news – of this is so official, so obvious, that it’s now OK for anyone to know. It gives permission for the gossip mills to flow.

It kind of makes me wish that more colleagues were on facebook. I don’t want to share the details of my life with many of them, but I would kind of like to make a mass announcement. I think one of the reasons I have been so hesitant to wear revealing clothes is that I’m dreading what I imagine will be an onslaught of banal observations/conversation – oh you are pregnant? Congratulations! When are you due? How are you feeling? Do you know the gender?

It’s hard to criticize this as I know people are just being polite/kind. And I ask the exact same questions when I find out a colleague, even one I don’t know well, is expecting. I just dread repeating this conversation over and over again. I know people mean the best, but it kind of feels like an overstepping of boundaries, of letting people in on something that is intensely personal, when I may not even be on terms to discuss hobbies with them.

Then again, I have to remember that births and the regeneration of life is something that ties people together, that reminds us of the cycle of life, and how we are all in this together. They are there as the community that will take in my child, regardless of how vigorously they partake in the responsibilities. I, in turn, have to allow them the access to participate.

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