Whose decision is it?

One thing I wasn’t prepared for when traveling to Spain was the extent of the allergy problem. I had already gone through seasonal allergies at home and thought I was done with it for this year. But upon arrival in Spain, they hit hard, causing me to rub my eyes until they were raw and swelling my sinuses until I could neither inhale nor exhale air through my nose.

I was able to get a generic form of Claritin tabs from a nice pharmacist, even though in Spain, they don’t recommend it during pregnancy (in the U.S. and on the internet, information indicates it’s fine). But I was still having severe problems, especially with my nose. I had difficulty eating and sleeping. Even talking when closing my mouth meant I had no air supply.

I went into a pharmacy looking for a nasal spray. One of my Spanish friends had told me that the Spanish culture expects women to suffer to the point at which they cannot breathe at all before they will be given a medication while pregnant. Some pharmacists are more flexible, but others aren’t. So I didn’t plan to say anything about my pregnancy. I believed I was suffering significantly, I didn’t think an over-the-counter nasal spray posed a high risk, and I thought the benefits outweighed the risk.

Unfortunately, my friend entered the pharmacy with me and told the pharmacist I was pregnant. The pharmacist refused to give me anything. She sent us to a medical clinic, where they also refused me anything. They said if I had asthma and came in unable to breathe, they would give me a shot of the medication in the arm. But since I could still breathe through my mouth – nothing. This was a Saturday, a day on which most pharmacies are closed – and we were in the middle of the Pyrenees. So I had little chance of being able to find anything.

My friend apologized for putting her foot in her mouth. She said that she miscarried her first pregnancy late in the first trimester. “That makes you question everything you do,” she said. She told me she had plans before her second pregnancy to get a vaccine for allergies. When she found out she was pregnant, she refused the shot. “The doctor told me it was fine, that I could get it. But I said unless he gave me a guarantee in writing, which he wouldn’t, I wasn’t going to do anything with even the smallest chance of hurting the baby,” she said.

I’m sympathetic to those who have suffered miscarriages and I know that if I went through that, I would doubt myself and would be extra cautious. But as I told her, I think there is too much of a tendency to blame the mother. Mothers may wonder if they did something wrong. But they can never know. Most miscarriages are caused by chromosomal abnormalities and probably have nothing to do with the decisions a mother makes. Nevertheless, I believe it was my friend’s right to refuse the allergy vaccine. And I believe it’s my right to take an over-the-counter medication when I believe I need it.

I understand there is now a medication available in the U.S. that helps a lot with continued morning sickness. There are some who say a woman should suffer through morning sickness as a normal part of pregnancy. Others, including a woman I know, says no one else would be allowed to suffer endlessly from any other illnesses for weeks or months at a time. Yes, there is a potential effect on an unborn life. But there is a definite effect on an already existing life. I believe that an adult, with the advice of medical professionals, should be able to decide if relieving her pain is worth the odds of potential harm to the fetus. In Spain, I felt that ability to decide for myself was taken away from me, that they put the well-being of the embryo above my own. That made me feel devalued and powerless. I didn’t like it.

Making changes

I’m now quite sure I’m pregnant, though I haven’t taken a test yet. Sure enough to start making a few changes. Sorry, I’m not giving up my morning English Breakfast tea yet. But I am holding off on my Allegra, even though I really need it. I’ll stop by the pharmacy and pick up some Claritin instead, which is rated in a safer category for pregnancy. I’m also struggling with a yeast issue (sorry, if too much information) due to the two weeks of antibiotics. I held off on trying to treat it, since there was a chance I could be pregnant. And the doctor said that the hormonal changes after menstruation could take care of it. But now that the hormonal changes are going in the other direction, it seems to be taking off into a minor case of thrush. I have an appointment with an ob/gyn next week. But in the meantime, I’m taking pro-biotics, trying to eating at least a serving or two of yogurt a day, and am trying to limit the white carbohydrates and sugars I consume, since I’ve read that is what the fungi feeds off of. For a sugar-holic like myself though, it’s a matter of limiting, not excluding.

I looked at a week-by-week guide and saw that right now, it is nothing more than two layers of cells. It’s really nothing resembling a baby. I’m doubtful that a bit of caffeine will have a large effect. However, I’m feeling slightly guilty that in the last month it, or the cells that composed it, were exposed to:
• Two weeks of heavy antibiotics
• Possible propecia exposure through my husband
• A really delicious rainbow roll
• A few sips of champagne
• Cake batter with raw eggs (also delicious!)
• At least three Allegra

Also, my vitamin D levels were low during my blood work last week and I’ve only started taking a multivitamin and vitamin-D in the last few days. So no pre-build up of folic acid, as is recommended.

Then I remember how River made it through both food poisoning and exposure to tear gas in the early weeks, with no apparent effects. Embryos are resilient things, I think there is too much of a tendency to blame mothers, and I believe in all things in moderation. Nonetheless, I’d feel really bad if there was a birth defect I could have prevented. So I’m starting to make the little changes that won’t make me suffer inordinately (like forgoing allergy meds entirely), but will reduce the chances of possible harm.

Moving towards thoughts of positive

I’ve had several symptoms today. Some are hard to distinguish from the allergies, which have become suddenly horrible in the past two days. But the main symptoms are fatigue (I took a two hour nap and spent the rest of the late afternoon/evening in a daze) and sciatica in my legs, which I haven’t had since third trimester with River. I’m also having some cramping, which makes me thinks my period is coming, but some googling says it can be the uterus preparing space for a baby. So no clear answers yet, but I’m moving back towards thinking a positive is possible.

A sesame allergy?

That was no fun. River just had his first allergic reaction. He was eating his dinner of seared tuna with sesame seeds and a tangerine and all seemed to be fine.

Our babysitter, Grace, then came to me and said he was itching himself. I went to him and his face was red and blotchy. He remained in a good mood, playing with a plastic cup, but periodically rubbed his eyes.

I called the pediatrician’s to be on the safe side. The nurse on duty said it was an allergic reaction and that I should go get some children’s benadryl as soon as possible to stop the reaction. She said we could try the food again when he’s a bit older to see if he’s grown out of it.

So I rode my bike to the local drugstore and got the medicine. I just thought how lucky it was that I happened to be at home. Our babysitter doesn’t know the pediatrician’s number and I’m not so good about carrying my cell phone with me. We’ve gotten lax since we haven’t had any problems. Even if she could call the pediatrician, I’m not sure she could describe what happened or understand the instructions well in English. So one benefit of this incident is that I’ll be more careful about having contact information easily available and my cell phone on hand.

I’m thinking it must have been the sesame seeds. He’s eaten various types of fish before. We’ve even given him raw tuna from our sushi. He spit it out, but it touched it tongue at least 2-3 times with no reaction. It was his first tangerine, but he’s been eating clementines like a madman, up to three per meal. While he’s had some other nuts, like pine nuts, walnuts and almonds, I don’t think he’s had sesame seeds before. The nurse said that neither tuna nor sesame seeds are common allergens. Though now that I’ve googled it, I see that sesame seeds may be a quite common allergen, the 9th most common worldwide according to this site.

I must admit I’m kind of bummed. He eats such a wide range of food, including some things that are pretty sophisticated for a baby (seared tuna with sesame seeds might be one example!) that I thought we were already pretty much past the potential allergy stage. I was hoping the allergy boat would pass us by. I really don’t want to be a parent who hovers over their child trying to protect them from an element in the world.

Assuming the benadryl does its job and he recovers without problem, this probably won’t change our habits too much. I won’t go out of the way to feed him tuna or tangerines. But if the opportunity presents itself and I have benadryl handy, I probably will give him a bite so that we can definitely narrow it down to sesame seeds.

Assuming it is sesame seeds, I guess we’ll hold off on those for a while (luckily, we don’t use them all that much) and try to reintroduce them again when he’s a bit older.