Monday, December 20, 2010

pregnancy week 38

One more piece of good news – I’m negative for Strep B this time around. Since I was positive last time, I expected I’d be positive this time too. The required IV was just one more layer of discomfort among many. I’m very happy to not have it this time around.

The colder weather, the lack of a commute, more frequent access to the car and my increasing size are reducing my movement. At the same time, I’m eating whatever I want – which includes a lot of carbs and sweets. I feel so huge that it doesn’t seem like it matters much if I get a little larger. I know this will create a bit more work for me post-birth, but this doesn’t really seem like the time to deny myself.

Some parts of me really want the baby to come – like the parts that realize the longer it’s in there, the bigger it gets and the harder it is to get out. Or the part that is just tired of being a walking whale. Other parts want it to hold off. I’d like to finish up my stats final first (will be done this week), I really don’t want it born on or near Christmas, I have nesting projects I’d like to get to, I’m enjoying having the time alone with River. Wishing one way or the other probably won’t have any effect. The only decision I may have to take is when (and if) to let my pre-natal masseuse do a foot massage she says induces labor.

I attended my first La Leche League meeting. Mark didn’t want me to go. He was afraid the people would be too crunchy and would encourage me to have the baby on my breast for years. The leaders were more balanced than I expected. They said they were there to support people who wanted to breastfeed, whether that was for three weeks, three months or three years. The leader commented that she was “pro feeding of babies,” whether that was breastmilk or formula, and I thought that was sensible. One leader was still breastfeeding her 14-month old, another didn’t have any children under 10. I admired their dedication to help other mothers and their willingness to serve as a resource. I expected the meeting to be over in an hour, but people were still chit-chatting when I had to leave after two hours. I kind of had the sense that there were “right” answers and “right” ways of behaving, which made me a little uncomfortable. As far as I could tell, I was the only person there because I wanted to build up a supply in order to return to work. And I can’t say I got a whole lot of helpful advice on that front. But it’s only one meeting and it was good to meet other moms of young kids. So I’ll probably try again. I’ll also be trying a Spanish-speaking group in a lower-income area nearby, which should provide an interesting contrast.

Mark is starting to recognize that it’s on the way soon. He proposed spending this weekend getting things ready. Unfortunately, I still have to finish up my class. But once I’ve done that, if there is still time remaining, I can do some nesting.

Though the discomforts are becoming more severe – along the lines of kicks in the ribs, backaches, etc., my prenatal massage still manages to allow me to not feel pregnant for one hour each week. It is such bliss.

Starting to see signs – cervical mucus, contractions – that lead me to think it is coming soon. But yet, I still don’t really know.

River’s why phase continues. I respect his inquisitiveness, but my patience for trying to answer questions (in Spanish, no less) like why was our street built where it is and why can’t it be moved, and why are lakes formed and why are there depressions in the earth where lakes can form wears thin when I’m simultaneously being kicked in the ribs and trying to maneuver a car through traffic. I feel bad about this.

I’m eating in smaller quantities and very picky about what I want and when. I’d love to make more room in the freezer, but not much we have in the house appeals to me. It’s like being back to early trimester cravings.

And she arrives – it’s over at 38 weeks and 5 days.

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