If I Had to Do it Over Again - Products

If I was going through pregnancy and childbirth again, these are things I would definitely buy, or do without.

During pregnancy:

• What to Expect When You’re Expecting
• Two fatherhood books
• The Snoogle body pillow
• Baby Bargains book
• Almond oil – I used this to avoid stretch marks on the recommendation of a Spanish friend. Don’t know if this is what prevented them, but I made it into the 10% or so of women who avoid stretch marks.
  
  Things I’d do without:
  · Breast pads and lanolin cream. Wait to see if you need them before buying.

Months 0+:

• Swaddle Mes (we used through 7 months)
• A good swing – we loved the Fisher Price Papasan
• Onesies
• What to Expect the First Year
• Sleepsacks
• My Breast Friend (I’d borrow one or buy it used)
• A baby carrier, but I’d purchase it AFTER the child is born to see which one is comfortable and which one the baby likes
• Lots of burp cloths
• For travel, a stroller frame (such as the Graco SnugRide) that accepts a pop-in carseat is the lightest way to go.
• Fenugreek, alfalfa or other milk-producing herb
• A breastpump
• A baby bathtub
• Household help
• Car-I-Oke music CD
• Easy Expressions hands free pumping bra (if breastfeeding and pumping)
  
  Things I’d do without:
  · A boppy
  · A crib or bassinet or playpen – if you think you need one, it’s still a good idea to wait until after the birth to see what the baby will accept. Many babies only want the closeness of another human for the first weeks or months.
  · Lots of fancy clothes – onesies and sleepsacks are the mainstay
  · A fancy stroller
  · Fancy nursery décor – the baby isn’t going to take any notice; it’s only worth it if it makes the parents happy.

Months 3+:

• An Ergo carrier – this is most useful at 6 months+, but it’s the best carrier I’ve come across and good for long-term use. It’s expensive though, so it would be a better deal to find one used.
• A jumper – if your baby isn’t eager to stand, this could wait, but if s/he is, they will love this. We liked the Fisher Price Rainforest Jumper.
• The swing remains very useful
• Some type of bed. If you want to make life easier, probably a crib that you’ll use for the long term would be best.
• BumGenius all-in-one cloth diapers – so easy even the dad accepts them.
  
  Things I’d do without:
  · An exersaucer – unless you can pick one up for free, as you often can on freecycle
  · Any type of travel crib or pen. Unless baby can roll over, a bed or carseat works just fine
  · Any but a few basic toys – the whole world is a toy.
  · Toys, accessories for car or stroller. We just didn’t find them necessary.
  · The chairs that help baby sit – those are useful for about two weeks, if you’re lucky.
  · Rice paper liners for cloth diapers – they irritated Soren’s behind and are only useful until the poops become more solid.
  · Any of the breastpump cleaning supplies – microwave sterilizing kit, wipes, etc. Never used them.
  · A fancy bedtime routine. Maybe some kids need it, but others don’t. No need for parents to stress themselves out with thinking that baby needs a bath every day before bed or other rituals if a bottle and a bedtime song are enough.

Months 6+

• A crib, if you don’t have one already
• Motherease cloth diapers (for home use – you can tell right away when baby is wet. This is useful if you don’t want baby to get used to sitting in wetness)
• Baby Bjorn little potty
• A professional portrait – surprisingly worth it. Sears did a great job
• Silicone ice cube trays and muffin pans for making baby food
• A decent food processor or blender
• An upright seat for the bathtub that keeps baby upright and contained, but allows to interact with water
• Pedometer and The Step Diet book – time to make sure mom is moving enough and beginning to shed that weight
  
  Things I’d do without:
  · Foam for the floor while learning to crawl – the usefulness is also very limited and baby will learn to crawl in any case
• Onesies - once the potty training begins, onesies are a pain to take off and get the baby on the pot. A few would be useful for special occasions. But for home, normal shirts work much better.
  · Shoes – we didn’t see any use for them before he could walk

Nine Days Without Baby - Day 5

I’m in this area for only a week. But I contacted a local supplier of hospital-grade breast pump rentals and they agreed to rent a Medela Lactina Select to me for a week (for less than $10). I appreciated the kindness of Iowans at that moment.

When I called, the representative said she didn’t think there was much difference between the Lactina Select and the Pump in Style. However, I’d read things online that claimed the Lactina was stronger. I felt I had to make my best effort, so I went ahead and got it.

As a result, I walked into class with a giant, blue plastic case slung over my shoulder, as if I was carrying construction equipment. The Lactina requires an outlet and I was tired of the toilet anyway. I decided to try to use a classroom. I posted a Please Do Not Disturb sign in the doorway, chose rooms with the desk in the far corner, and pumped for 20 minutes. It was much more comfortable than the toilet. Using the desk, I could even read. And no one barged in.

While I was down to 12 ounces or so of milk collection, I could feel that my breasts were full. The supply was there, the pump just wasn’t getting it out. I hoped that my being vigilant with my fluid intake, my fenugreek and my pumping would at least allow me to maintain the supply until I returned home. At that point, I’d feed River as much as I could and would be very careful about pumping, at least for the next few weeks.

Nine Days Without Baby - Day 4

I think this could be called panic day. As my milk supply remained low, and went even lower, I wondered how I could possibly maintain it for another week. I feared losing the supply, returning home and not being able to breastfeed anymore.

I’d been rather lax about pumping lately. I thought he’d passed the six month mark, he’s healthy, and I need time to be a person too. So he’d been receiving breastmilk when I was around, formula when I wasn’t. I knew that if he grew out of breastfeeding soon that he’d be a healthy and happy baby.

However, being away from him and suddenly faced with the thought of my supply drying up made me realize that I wasn’t ready for the intimacy of breastfeeding him to end. I considered flying home. I spent all evening reading articles online, looking for products that could help me. For the first time, I realized there is a difference between my Medela Pump-In-Style and the pumps women rent from hospitals (hospital grade pumps).

I cringed when I read women writing about their milk “drying up.” It’s such a horrible term, connoting withering, dryness, age and barrenness. Even though I rationally knew there was nothing wrong with starting to focus on my own life and interests now, emotionally I felt that if I returned home “dried up,” I’d be a failure as a mother. I would feel so guilty for denying him any more access to breastmilk, for breaking that bond of intimacy between us, so that I could pursue my own interests for a week.

I upped my fenugreek to three tablets three times a day, I downed water and Nursing Mother tea, I pumped, I tried to get more protein and rest, I researched hospital-grade pumps, I even researched medicine said to increase milk supply. Someone told me I should pump at least eight times a day for 20 minutes each time. That’s not easy when I need to be outside of the house sometimes. So I ended up pumping in the bathroom.

I knew the whirring noise probably freaked people out. And it wasn’t very comfortable for me on the toilet either. Once a woman asked, “What is that noise?” When I called out “a breastpump,” she told me my baby would sure appreciate it, that both her daughters had nursed, and they had never had to use a bathroom stall.