Mark called this morning with River and Mark’s parents there. I spoke to River, though they said he didn’t seem to recognize my voice. It’s so hard to hear the little sounds of his presence but to not be able to reach out and touch him.
Grandma says it’s clear both Mark and River miss me, but that River is reaching out for his dad, which is good to hear. She says he is standing and even playing ball while standing, but not taking steps yet. I want to say, wait, hold off for two more weeks please. I want to be there with you baby for your big moment.
I’m glad that it’s already March. I’m already in the month in which I’ll be reunited with him. I want to lie on our bed with him, to have him run across from side to side, giggling and exploring, climbing over me, occasionally pausing to lie down next to me or to hug me. I’ll just have to trust that each day will pass and soon enough he’ll be back in my arms.