Whew!

I was sure happy to get my period this month. I thought we could have had a little surprise. When I returned from my trip, I told my husband I’d already ovulated. Then when I sat and counted the days more carefully, plus thought about the possibility that the international travel could have messed with the ovulation, I wondered if I might have screwed up.

I happened to have my annual gyn. exam the next day, so I could have asked for a morning after pill. I thought about it, but I didn’t. As much as I wouldn’t be eager to have another child now, I figured if it happened, it happened. We do plan on one eventually and while now wouldn’t be ideal, it wouldn’t be unworkable either.

One reason another child wouldn’t be ideal is that I’m trying to get back to work. Being pregnant while job hunting would definitely not help the search. Then, as I realize the job search might be tougher than I first thought, I start to think that maybe it would make sense to have a child now after all. As long as I’m unemployed, I might as well be productive in doing something. The fact that we already have a babysitter would make childcare arrangements easier and cheaper.

Despite all that, I would mostly be disappointed to be pregnant now because I’d still like to give River the individual attention I think he deserves (and that I enjoy giving him) for a while more. While a pregnancy now would make a two year gap, which I suppose is acceptable and plenty of people do it, I think River is still young. A 3-4 year gap would be ideal in my opinion. I’d like him to be potty trained and able to do some basic things for himself before a sibling appears. I’d like for him to be in preschool, to have a little bit of his own world, before we pull attention away towards another child. I’d like to be able to give the second child the attention that River has received, or close to it.

What would be most ironic about a pregnancy now is that my birth control (I’m going to try the Nuva ring) is sitting in the fridge, waiting until the Sunday after my period to be put into use. First I waited 11 months to get my period, then I wanted to see what my standard cycle post-birth was, then I took some time to look into options, delayed starting since there was no point in being on hormones while traveling, and planned to begin after my first period upon returning home. After all that, how ironic would it be for us to screw up just days beforehand?

Luckily, we didn’t. And I’m strangely glad that I didn’t ask for the morning after pill, so I won’t wonder whether maybe there would have been a little one.

I’ll be starting on the Nuva tomorrow. Has anyone used it? Any thoughts?

Since another child is not on our short-term horizon, I’m crossing my fingers that I can find some sort of halfway-meaningful employment by the summer.