What a joyous experience I had this morning to see and hear my son's pure happiness at my presence. I was about ready to head out for work as he came downstairs. He saw dad and gave him a pleasant enough hello. Then he saw me and his face lit up. Mamaaa!! he said, his eyes wide and bright, his mouth expressing both wonder and joy. Mamaa!!! he walked right past dad, no longer paying him the slighest interest. Then he stopped to point out the treasure he found. "Look, mama!" he said, to Mark, as though he should be similarly overjoyed with my presence. He then walked over to me for a hug and a kiss, twirling my hair and so content to just be near me.
I can't even describe what a wonderful feeling it is to be so loved and wanted. It does make me sad that Mark doesn't get to experience this. But I'm so very grateful that I do. It made me wish I could put off going to work for a couple more hours.
I have a friend who has a very close relationship with her mother. My friend lives overseas and as a result, her mother doesn't get to spend much time with her grandkids. One might think that would drive them apart. When I asked her what made them so close, she said it was the true happiness she heard in her mom's voice every time she called. There was never a question of why haven't you called in so long. But instead, joy and gratitude at the gift of communication.
That's what I feel right now from my son - joy and gratitude for my presence. And that makes me want to be the best mother I can be to him. I hope that as he gets older and we face our respective disappointments, that I can mirror this to him - a consistent gratitude and pleasure in his presence.