Some days are really hard, as was the one where she ate pretty much constantly from 8 p.m. to 3 a.m., then I had insomnia and ended up with about an hour of sleep. Others are seemingly great, such as the night she slept from 9 p.m. to 6 a.m., with only brief wakings for a few feedings.
I don’t consider myself an attachment parent, but right now, she feels permanently attached to me. Most times I like this. She is like a little doll and it’s marvelous to recognize that this tiny bundle is going to grow up to become a woman – my daughter. But at times it’s trying, especially to constantly function with only one hand and to have only five minutes at a time to take care of myself. She is so easy-tempered, but does insist on being in someone’s arms at all times. I’m looking forward to being able to pass her off to someone else’s arms and enjoy an hour or two of unrestricted movement.
I’m feeling a bit better each day. Last time, it took a good three months to heal. I think it will be quicker this time.
My daily goals are to shower and to take a walk around the block. Harsh weather occasionally interferes with the walk and I find it hard when I’m unable to move out of the house for at least 20 minutes per day.
I’ve been spending a lot of time in our bedroom and I’m so appreciative of its spaciousness, the ample light and the warm tones of the honey wood floor and furniture. I love looking out at the cold snow and hearing the harsh wind blow, yet feeling safe and warm inside with my baby.
I still haven’t touched the remainder of my stats exam, and don’t know how I’m going to do that. But I’ve started perusing courses I could audit in the spring and feel like a kid in a candy store. I’ve identified 20 courses I’d be interested in taking, everything from neuroscience to natural disasters to Chinese religions to interpretations of modernist films. As an auditor, I wouldn’t have to do any assignments or take any exams. I could just sit and learn. I’m tempted by some work-related courses, but would like to use this time to just learn something for the fun of it.