I’m a bit tired, though I feel like I shouldn’t be. I get a decent amount of sleep, even though I’m awakened a few times per night. I have plenty of good food, I eat well. But I have a baby in my arms almost all the time and I’m starting to long for more independent movement. Also, I’m not always meeting my goal of a daily walk and am beginning to crave exercise.
I tried a baby carrier I was given, but it’s meant for babies that can already sit upright with their legs apart and that’s not the case for us yet. I finally dug out the Ergo and tried it today. She is now asleep on my chest, I have two hands free and can walk around. Yay! I’m hoping it might aid her in getting some longer stretches of sleep during the day, and allow me to move around more and do things I’ve been neglecting – like typing – that I can only do with two hands.
I’m starting to feel the ennui of sitting in one or two places and not being able to move much. It’s been almost a month since she was born and in that time, I finished my statistics exam and I’m almost done with holiday cards. That’s not a lot to knock off my to-do list in 3.5 weeks. I feel like I could use the whole six month maternity leave just to finish my administrative and nesting projects.
I do still love looking at Willow’s delicate, precious little face. River seems happier and I’m hoping he’s starting to adjust. I know it’s just a matter of time until I can resume the things I used to do. But in the meantime, I look at people, like those working on their computers in a café, who don’t have babies attached to them, who are not nervously watching the clock, thinking about how long they can be away before the baby starts to cry for milk, and I feel like we live in different worlds.