Beautiful words

“Can I please go do a caca (pee/poo)?”

The end stage of potty-training, when not only are there no daytime accidents, but we don’t have to ask him if he has to go, is great.

Someday perhaps, he’ll wake up in the morning dry after 12 hours. But until then, we’ll enjoy the calm days.

Poopy in the big potty

So far, the transition from the little Baby Bjorn potty to the regular toilet has been the most challenging transition we’ve faced so far. I thought the transition from bottle to sippy cup was hard, but that was just a painful day or two, then it was over. This is a much longer and potentially messier change. He had that little potty for over two years, so he had grown attached. And the big potty can be intimidating. It’s not the right size for little kids and it sucks to not have anything to rest your feet against, especially when you are taking a poo.

While I understand his hesitation, we felt it was time for him to make the switch. Primarily because I thought he’d be starting “school” this fall and I wanted him to be able to use the bathroom there (he rejects anything other than Bjorn little pots, even child-sized toilets). It’s getting tiring to carry around the little pot every time we leave for a few hours (not to mention carrying it off my handle bar on long bike rides!). And I wanted him to have time to adjust and be fully comfortable on the big pot before the baby comes. I’m hoping that will reduce the likelihood of regression in this area, and the odds of us having to deal with the excretions of more than one little person at a time.

Until now, we haven’t used rewards or bribes to achieve any desired behavior. We give him praise when he does well and consequences (warnings and time outs) when he breaks the rules. I didn’t want to encourage a system of doing things just for rewards, especially something so basic as going to the bathroom.

But example setting and encouragement wasn’t working and I had to admit that he was probably afraid. That’s a big, deep hole and it can be scary to let your poop fall into such an abyss. There are times I have overcome my fears due to the promise of a reward and that positive outcome was instrumental in helping me get past a blockage. Since I didn’t think he was just being recalcitrant, but probably truly nervous, I thought this might be an instance in which we needed to use rewards.

Mark took the lead since I was out of town for a week and a half. He used goldfish to get River onto the toilet and to sit there, and lots of praise when something came out. He seemed to have done pretty well while visiting relatives. But once we got home, the progress didn’t last.

We hoped we could still use the little potty once or twice a day. He could sit there and entertain himself for a good 20 minutes, which gave us time to shower in the morning or get things ready before bed.

I soon noticed River saved all his poop for his once-daily use of the little potty, holding it until he had a gigantic one and doing nothing on the big potty. He would say he had nothing (no pee or poop) when pottying before nap or bed, then we’d find his diaper especially soaked. This didn’t seem to be healthy and it also seemed like it would be a longer, more protracted battle than I wanted to engage in. So I upped the stakes.

First, we got rid of the little potties entirely. We as parents lose out on the convenience, but it’s time. With no little potty, that meant he’d either have to do it in the big one, do it in his diapers while sleeping, or have accidents.

So that the change would have more of a positive spin for him, I took him to Walmart with me and explained that he was going to get to pick out ten Hot Wheels. We’d bring them home and each time he did a poo in the big potty, he’d get to choose one. He seemed to understand and smiled widely. This was the first time I’d ever taken him to a store to choose a toy and to get 10 all at once – he was pretty psyched.

We bought two boxes of five cars (they are only a dollar per car – cheap reward!). Someone accidentally gave him a car for doing a pee, so then we had to reinforce they were only for poos. Every time he got on the pot, he’d ask for a car and I’d tell him he’d get one as soon as he did a poo.

Yesterday evening, he actually asked to use the toilet. I helped him up there, he did his pee, and then came a large poo. I made a big deal of it, clapping and congratulating him. Then he got to go choose a car, we made a point of showing it off to papa. He asked to put it on his car display case in his room, where it will be visible each time he wakes up. I’m hoping we’ve crossed the line and he’s seen that it’s safe to poo in the potty. More than safe, it’s fun. He gets a car.

He has eight more to earn and the hope is that by the time he earns all eight, pooping in the toilet will be a normal thing for him and no longer a cause for hesitation.

Mark said that after initially bribing him onto the toilet with goldfish, River got used to it and no longer asked for goldfish. Hopefully, it will be the same with cars. And if it works as planned, it is worth the $10.

If you have used rewards to change behavior, how do you decide when to implement them? How do you wean off the reward system?

Transition from little potty to toilet

I’m really glad we tried the early potty training. I think both Mark and I appreciate not having much contact with feces after the first year to 18 months.

However, one challenge we’ve faced recently is that River is so attached to the little potty he’s used since six months of age that he rejected toilet seats outright. It didn’t matter if it was a mini toilet at the gym childcare, a toilet with an insert on it, or just a normal toilet – they were all big, abnormal, and scary.

A few months ago, I started to tell River that he needed to use a big potty like the big kids do when he goes to “school.” He desperately wants to go to school and looks with wonder and envy at the passing school buses and the children in the school playgrounds.

At first, he was resistant to the idea that he had to be like them in his pottying habits, insisting that he was “pequeno.” But then, the desire to join them seemed to win out and he’d say, yes, he would use the potty like they do when he goes to school.

Yet, getting him to actually do it wasn’t easy. My mom bribed him, telling him she’d give him ice cream for trying. So he sat there, didn’t do anything, and enjoyed his ice cream. The result was that he saved it for the diaper while he was sleeping.

We gave it up for a while, but with “school” starting in just a few weeks, we felt the need to make it happen. The program doesn’t require him to be potty trained. But we aren’t going to put him back in diapers nine months after removing them. And it seemed 4-5 hours could be too long to hold it.

We debated hiding the little potty, or “forgetting” to bring it along when River and Mark visited family for over a week. We considered an incentive system – with a treat for trying and a Hot Wheels for success. But Mark wasn’t up for the cold turkey and neither of us got around to buying the Hot Wheels.

I convinced River to sit there a few times, promising either a cookie or stories. But nothing came out. I put the little potty out of sight when I left town, but Mark called almost immediately looking for it. He said the result of not using it was poopy pants at night, which we haven’t dealt with in so long that we are ill prepared to handle it well. It didn’t help that Mark forgot the cloth diapers at home and had to buy disposable, which we find really encourage elimination in a way the cloth ones don’t.

I thought it was a lost cause and we’d have to figure something out when we got home and back to our routine.

So I was pleasantly surprised to talk to Mark today and to hear that River did his first poo in the big toilet. He said River puts on the seat himself. I asked how Mark managed it. He said he bribed him with goldfish several times to get him to stay on the toilet. And that he made him try the toilet during the day, but let him use the little potty at night, to try to avoid the messy nighttime diapers. After a while, River no longer needed the goldfish incentive.

I asked if he got a prize for his accomplishment today and Mark said no, but he called in grandma and they jointly praised him.

It sounds like River may already be used to the toilet during the daytime, with the little potty at night. That compromise is perfectly sufficient for our “school” purposes. I don’t have a problem with him continuing to use the little pot in the evenings and enjoying his pre-bed program, as he usually does.

I’m proud of River, for making the first step in a scary-to-him transition. Hopefully the first time is the hardest and from this point on, it will be easier. And I’m impressed with Mark for sticking with it and managing this difficult change.

I think my little guy may be ready for school.

Heading home, and Spanish thoughts on childrearing

I’m heading home and I think the length of this trip was just right. We were able to do the things we wanted to do, I think we avoided overstaying our welcome, and I’m now anxious to see River.

We spent time with other children on this trip, all of whom were good kids. But those close to River’s age appeared to be more difficult. We appreciate how easy we have it and I want to see my baby to show him how much I appreciate him.

Today I asked my friend what the Spanish recommend regarding potty training and she said people are advised to get their children out of diapers when they turn 2. She thought that was too generic of a recommendation, that it doesn’t take into account the differences between children. But in general, it sounds like most Spaniards complete daytime training between 18 months and age 2.5. She said no one goes to school still wearing diapers.

Regarding dental care, they don’t make their first visit to the dentist until age 5 or 6. Our friends still put their 3-year-old to bed with a bottle (a bottle, not a sippy cup) of chocolate milk. I wouldn’t want to emulate the bottle, nor the chocolate, and we are trying to move away from milk in the bed. But I did like their lack of mania about dental care, especially since I have peers where I live urging people to bring their kids to the dentist at age 18 months or earlier. When I called the dentist, he said not to bring River until age 3, which is what I plan to do.

“I think Americans tend to be kind of manic about teeth,” said our friend’s husband. “Not just about dental hygiene, but also appearance.” They also thought it was strange, and going a bit overboard, to have hair salons (or dentists) that focus just on serving children. “There is nothing traumatic about sitting in a chair and getting a haircut,” one of them said. “Our local hair salons will cut a child’s hair for 5-7 euro. There is no need to make a big deal of something that isn’t really.” They said when they were growing up, their mothers cut their hair.

I do agree with them, but where I live, there aren’t a lot of other options. The man who cuts my hair said only a few people in the salon will agree to work with children, and they charge something exorbitant. I could take him to a cheap place, but then one is rolling dice as to the quality. I still have memories of when my mother took me for a cut at a training center for hair stylists. It’s just not worth the possibility of such mistakes.

While I liked their more relaxed attitude regarding dental care and haircuts, one Spanish practice I’m glad we don’t use is the late bedtimes. I found the evidence in the book Nurture Shock of greater hours of sleeping being related to better brain development to be convincing. Another study that found negative effects from co-sleeping, due to reduced hours of sleep achieved by both mother and child made sense to me. The kids we spent time with often didn’t nap, then they went to bed very late – 10 p.m., 11 p.m., later. When it was time to get up, they were tired and clingy. During the day they were cranky. The lack of a set routine seemed to make the bedtime routine a fight and/or a negotiation.

We weren’t so much into a routine when River was a small baby. At that time, I figured we’d follow his signs. But as he’s gotten older, he’s fallen into a routine and I think it’s a good thing for all of us. He knows what to expect, which is the same virtually every day. Since he likes most of the steps of the routine (potty with his favorite program, book, milk), there is no resistance as we go through the steps. In the process, he’s settling down. And when it comes time for bed, that’s just a natural extension of the process. He gets plenty of sleep. We get plenty of down time.

One thing I do love about the Spanish culture is the strong tie with the family. Perhaps there is a tendency to coddle and to spoil their children. But family connections are strong and children remain close to their parents well through adulthood. My ideal would be for River to be empowered and independent and for him to be well-behaved and respectful, and for him to feel so loved by his family that he wants to remain close.

The new potty vocabulary

We have a new means of speech in our house, and it starts with caca, Spanish for poo but we use it for anything done on the potty. It started with cacaSprout, which means going to the potty while watching a show on PBS Sprout (our usual pre-bed routine). The other day, coming home from the gym, River asked for bread when we got home. When I said yes, he asked if he could sit at the table.

“No, we don’t have time,” I said. “I’ll give you bread while you are going potty.”

“Cacasproutpan?” he asked. Sure.

This morning, he asked for cacasprout. I try to limit the TV watching to the evenings, so I said no. “We’ll do cacacoches instead,” I said, placing his potty in front of the chair that holds his vast collection of toy cars. We had a bit of friendly back and forth. Cacasprout? No, cacacoches. Even my non-Spanish speaking husband uses these terms regularly.

A bonus of potty training

It’s been about three weeks since we ditched the daytime diapers. By now, his using the potty is completely natural. I haven’t seen an accident since the first week. I take him out in public (though I do carry the Bjorn little potty if we’ll be gone over 1.5 hours). And I still ask frequently if he needs to go, relying on him to agree when he feels the need. It feels natural now. Similar to when I had Lasik surgery and quickly forgot what it was like to have glasses, it’s now hard to remember what it was like using diapers.

One great bonus of ditching the diapers has been that his clothes are suddenly much looser. Maybe this isn’t as much of an issue with disposables, since I think they are thinner. But the cloth diapers are pretty bulky and add a few extra inches to the butt. Without those extra inches, pants that once seemed ready to be passed along now fit loosely. We’re able to get a lot more life out of our clothes.

While he still wets during his nap and at night (and the fact that we still put him to bed with a sippy cup probably doesn’t help that), he seems to be less soaked than he used to be. After 12 hours sleep, he used to completely soak his diaper, pants and sheet. Now I can often keep the same sheet there. That’s making me think that he’s holding something back – perhaps the pee when he first wakes up, waiting for the potty instead.

It’s great to know that he is now capable of managing his needs during waking hours. I consider the elimination communication experiment to be a success and I’d do it again if we have another child. But just recently, I realized that River is only awake for 9 hours of each day. Realizing it’s only 30% of the day that he’s in control of tempers the achievement a bit. But I’m still proud of him.

Leap of faith

We are one week and two days into no daytime diapers. So far, we’ve had just a few half-accidents at home. I call it a half-accident if he starts to go, realizes it, and announces it in time to finish in the potty. And we’ve had one accident in public. But that was when we kept him out past his bedtime. He was so tired while kneeling on the floor that his head fell back against the sofa and his eyes were closed. I think he may have fallen asleep. When I put him on the potty shortly afterwards, I saw his pants were wet. Since we accept that he doesn’t have any control when he’s asleep, I’m not sure whether to count this one as a true accident or not. There have been no pooping accidents during waking hours, though that hasn’t been an issue for a long time.

I admit there have been times during the week when I’ve been really tempted to put on a diaper, a plastic cover, something. First, it was visits to the library that freaked me out. The carpeted floor there doesn’t help and I was sure an accident would bring on lots of disapproving looks. But we’ve made it to the library several times, no problem. Then I worried about taking him to participate in research studies. Again, peeing in front of the researcher wouldn’t make a good impression. But we did that twice and no problem. Finally, I was tempted when I took him to the gym. I used to be able to leave him in the gym for up to two hours. Sometimes I’d even run out and go grocery shopping. But with the risk of an accident, I knew I’d need to stay close by. In fact, I’d probably need to pop in after the first hour and see if he needs to go. The gym childcare, which used to cost a few dollars, is now free. I value being able to leave him there and I didn’t want to upset the caregivers with an accident. But again, I took a deep breath, decided to trust him, and let him go. Again, no problem. I’ve worried about accidents in the carseat, but it hasn’t happened.

I’m learning that the hardest part of potty training is probably more of an issue for the parent than for the child. River does his business. He has an occasional accident here and there. But overall, he’s doing just fine. But it’s us, as parents and caregivers, who fear the accidents, who fear the public embarrassment, who fear the censure.

I admit, I’ve been less than enthused about the prospect of a potty training toddler (other than my own) spending a lot of time in my house. I really don’t want another kid’s urine on our newly finished hardwood floors. At the same time, if a parent provides enough opportunities to go and is ready for an emergency (a quick towel on hand will clean up even shiny hardwood floors) the chances of an accident may not be all that high.

At the times I’ve been tempted, I’ve thought of perhaps putting on a diaper only for a few hours, during this potentially inconvenient or embarrassing time. Then I thought about the message that would send. That diapers are OK sometimes when it’s not convenient to use the bathroom. That I can’t trust him to get through an hour or a few hours on his own. And I decided it’s not worth it. I’d rather take the risk. I’d rather he have an accident or two, if necessary, so that he understands what happens.

It’s really a leap of faith for parents to put away the diapers and say – no more, I trust you, little toddler, to listen to your own body. I wonder if perhaps he would have been ready earlier. If I took too long to take the leap. The signal I was waiting for was some advance notice of having to go. We got that just a month or two before we got rid of the diapers, so I don’t think we waited a very long time after he might have been ready. But I am surprised at how much of the process has to do with me, Mark and other caregivers letting go and having faith.

Bye bye diapers

River has been doing quite well with the potty at home recently. In the past few weeks, he has been giving us advance notice of when he needs to go. When we ask him if he wants to go potty, he’ll often say yes when he has something. So I think it’s about time to try to get rid of the diapers entirely during the daytime (sleeptime is another matter. He still supersoaks them regularly. I read that kids can’t hold it at night until their brain starts producing a certain chemical, so we’ll leave that one on hold for a while).

I took him out of town over the three-day weekend, during which we used disposables. I noticed that he was much more willing to pee his pants in the disposables compared to the cloth. I’d repeatedly ask him if he needed to go potty, he’d say no, and then I’d later find a full diaper. That doesn’t happen with the cloth diapers, probably because it’s so uncomfortable to wear all that pee against the skin.

It’s a little risky to make the jump right after a couple of days in disposables. I expect we'll have at least a few accidents. But I'll give it a month and see how it goes. I'm most concerned about excursions in public. That is really where we're making the leap b/c he's been doing quite well at home for a while now, but we always put on a diaper when we go out. It doesn’t help that the library story room floor is carpeted. The plan is to give him an opportunity to go before we leave, bring along a towel (to clean up accidents), a plastic bag and a spare pair of pants. Perhaps I’ll also carry the Bjorn potty along, since he’s still not comfortable going on a big potty seat.

I wanted to make the transition clear to him. So when he woke up this morning, I told him he was a big boy now, so we’d be saying goodbye to the diapers in the daytime. I asked him to help me put the diapers into a bag to put away. He did so, we filled the bag, and I carried it out of the room. It took about two minutes.

I think removing the diapers (we left the power diapers for sleep time) is as much for our benefit as his. Without them there, we can’t resort to them if we start to struggle a bit. It means we all have to be committed to helping River make his big boy transition work, because there is no fall back.

The Morning Call

For a long time now, River’s wake up has been pretty standard. He wakes him happily chattering to himself. He can continue to do this for 20-30 minutes without minding the lack of attention or company. We would often sleep through this chatter until he decided he really needed attention.

A few weeks ago, he’d wake up chattering, then start yelling “Caca!” (poop in Spanish), which he knows will always bring us in. He uses caca for pee as well, and of course, he is full of it after 12 hours of sleep.

But in the past few days, his wakeups have become quicker and more urgent. He wakes up, skips the happy chatter, announces caca and if that doesn’t work right away, quickly starts to yell “Caaaacaaaaa!!!” in a desperate voice. Sometimes he accompanies this with a shaking of the crib.

This corresponds with really good progress in pottying over the past week, where he is starting to tell us ahead of time that he has to go. I’m even letting him wear underwear instead of a diaper to go play outside in the cold. When we get him right after his wakeup, he often does something in the potty.

I tell Mark to try to imagine River’s position. He drinks a bottle before bed, lays there 12 hours, and in addition to having a heavy, soggy lump of cotton around his rear and thighs, he probably has to pee something awful. Even I would need to bolt to the toilet under those circumstances, but he can’t get out of the crib and has to wait for someone to help him. I’d be pretty desperate too.

This urgency shortens our own wakeup periods. But I’m hopeful that it’s a sign of him being conscious of his need to pee, and his discomfort at adding more to his wet pants. I think we’re nearing the final stretch.

The best time to potty train

I recently read that the best time to potty train is between 18 and 30 months old. This is because few kids are ready to go without diapers before 18 months and the battle of wills grows stronger after 30 months. The book also recommends summer, with the summer after your child turns two recommended as the best time.

Our child will turn 30 months this next summer, so that is now my final aim to be diaper-free, at least during the daytime.

I think it’s realistic. We’ve been using undies for a while, though we still have some accidents. Just in the past few days, we’ve had a few cases of River asking to go potty, then going immediately upon getting on the pot. For the past two evenings, I’ve had no accidents and several successful pottys. This forewarning is what we’ve been holding out for. Once it’s here to stay, I think we’ll be in the final stretch.

Is six a record?

Today is one of those days I’m exceptionally glad we are using elimination communication methods. Junior, back on a very high fiber diet now that I’m home, pooped SIX times today. I think that’s a record. Happily, we caught five of them. The only one we didn’t catch took place when I left him at the gym childcare for two hours. I can’t imagine cleaning up six such messes. One was bearable.

If anything these days, River is wanting to spend more time on the potty. When I try to take him off, he shakes his head no. Unless we’re in a hurry to get somewhere, I’ll let him stay on as long as he wants. Often, something ends up coming out after he refused to get up. In any case, I hope he’s learning to become comfortable with the bathroom.

He’s now showing a definite dislike for diapers. This afternoon I put him down for a nap in a diaper. He undid the Velcro, then peed. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but I think he’d rather not pee into fabric against his skin.

We’re nowhere near diaper-free at this point, but we’re collecting a whole lot of goo in the Baby Bjorn little potty. I’m hopeful this means we might finish the potty training earlier than the current American average of 39 months for boys.

The next book to help me be a better parent

I’m still in that searching for good parenting advice period and have now finished my second book. Before I tell you about the book, I want to mention that I’m recently getting to know a few babies in a more intimate way than just waving at them in the stroller while I chat with their moms. Of course there is Mirena, who now comes over two afternoons a week. And last week, we watched my friend Laura’s baby on Saturday and she watched River on Sunday.

Both of these experiences make me recall my Spanish friend’s saying, “Every baby is a world unto themselves.” And they are. Each of the three is entirely distinct. Which makes me wonder how people can really presume to give advice. What works for River may well not work for Mirena. And what works for Isabela doesn’t match River’s needs. I suppose people advise toward the mean. But for our purposes, I can’t put my faith into any single idea or author, because none of them know River’s needs precisely. The best I can do is to read widely and then pick and choose among the ideas presented those I think will have a positive benefit.

So, the book I read is Parenting, Inc. by Pamela Paul. I first saw it reviewed in Brain, Child magazine (my new favorite magazine). I didn’t pay much attention though since the subtitle “How we are sold on $800 strollers, fetal education, baby sign language, sleeping coaches, toddler couture and diaper wipe warmers – and what it means for our children” didn’t apply to me. The only thing we have used from that list is a teeny bit of sign language. But even with that, we are only teaching him 10-15 signs and we’re not spending any money to do it.

But then, I passed by a table of books outside a bookstore and began to flip through this one. I landed on a page about hiring consultants to help toddlers learn to get potty trained. She mentioned one in particular called Booty Camp. For $250 ($300 now) parents can get their toddler potty trained in a day.

On the parent listserv I belong to, there had been a lot of discussion lately about parents unsure of what to do with their toddlers. One recent discussion had centered upon a 4-year old, who pooped in his pants at daycare and got it all over the rugs. After requesting advice, the parents decided to send him to preschool in diapers and to include going to the potty with changing clothes, but otherwise allow him to choose when to train. Of course, I can’t know the child or the situation. But the prevalence with which I heard of these types of cases in the U.S. (look at all the sold out classes at Booty Camp to see how many people need help with this) doesn’t seem right to me.

So I was intrigued by the Booty Camp founder’s method. She loads the kids up with sugar and salt, as much as they want to eat and drink. They wear only underpants. She tells them that when they need to go to the bathroom, they must use the potty. She says it’s “unacceptable” for them to go in their pants. If they do so, she says it’s gross, dirty and stinky and the child must clean it up. The parent is instructed to not react to any attention-seeking behavior. The child is also not provided with any rewards. If anything, toys are removed so that he can focus on paying attention to his body. She believes that there is a point at which a poop is no longer an “accident” but a decision, and should no longer be excused. It worked for the parent profiled in the book and from that day on, her son used the potty.

I picked up the book due to this potty perusal. It’s not so much a parental advice book as it is a manifesto against the heavy hand of consumerism on parents these days. The book is easy to read and the beginning and end are strongest. The book contains some interesting facts and statistics, some of which I’ll probably refer to in future posts.

I can say that it made me feel better about our decisions to not be participating in baby classes (besides swimming), to go with mostly used clothing and toys and to focus on what we believe matters – quality time, access to experiences and saving for education when it’s really needed.

Read any helpful books lately?

What is it about the poop

that makes it more enticing than an entire roomful of toys strewn across the floor?

We came home from a long afternoon of errands. I put River on the potty, he pooped, I was proud of him. After getting him back in a diaper and his clothing, I left the room for 2-3 minutes. I returned as soon as I heard what sounded like the potty being dragged against the floor.

He had pulled the wipe out of the potty, as well as a bit of the poop. He had poop on both of his hands and was clearly entranced by the small piece on the floor. A bevy of colorful toys surrounded him, but the poop was far more interesting. I’m afraid I don’t understand what the attraction is.

Being the Only One

The other day on Facebook, a former colleague of mine from Kyrgyzstan posted pictures of his new son, now a few months old. In one photo, someone held the naked baby with his back to her chest, his legs up and apart, clearly in a position to go to the bathroom.

This is normal in Kyrgyzstan and my colleague didn’t take any note of the fact that his baby was going to the bathroom without diapers. Instead, he commented on the baby’s facial expression, seemingly asking his parents what they expected of him.

I forwarded the photo to our babysitter. She hadn’t heard of elimination communication until she came to spend time with River. She did watch our copy of the Potty Whisperer video though and took on the challenge enthusiastically. She has been very helpful in the EC process and I think she should take credit for the results appearing so quickly.

Her response was “We think River is so amazing for doing so well (and, of course, he is!), but compared to the rest of the world it doesn't seem that special!"

This morning she told me she’d been discussing elimination communication with her husband and the challenges of attempting something that is so rare in one’s own community. She asked me, “Are any of your friends doing ECing?”

I paused for a moment to think. I thought of my friends who do yoga, who teach their babies music, foreign languages, who feed them organic foods, who gave birth at home. Nope, as far as I knew, none of them were doing elimination communication with their babies.

For the first time, I momentarily felt a sense of isolation. Am I really the only person I know doing this? Then I reminded myself to not limit myself to my physical community. There are millions of parents all around the world raising their children this way. They were my example and this particular lesson seems to be working so far.

Instead of feeling odd or isolated, I’ll just be grateful that I have access to different cultures and ideas and am able to choose what I think seems helpful from each one.